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I am a 25-year old British girl and have lived in Chicago for 2.5 years. During my time here so far, I have dated three different men, and I felt that I had come to an understanding of what they are about. I met my current "boyfriend" just over two months ago, in a club. He initiated our relationship, and after our first meeting, emailed me every day until I agreed to meet him again (I had just broken up with someone else so I was not sure at first). He is 28 years old, has traveled widely, and is accustomed to being with non-Americans. We write to each other via email every day, or speak on the telephone. He is very busy with his work so usually we only meet during weekends. We go to usual "date" places, e.g. the cinema, the park, shopping, etc. He is always very complimentary about me, and is very flirtatious. He is also very communicative, and we have learned a lot about each other during the last two months. We must look like a nice couple, I think.
The problem is that we have
not even kissed
yet! After we had been out five times, I was a little worried why nothing was happening. I figured he must be
shy about making a move on a bold girl like. He says he has not been in a relationship for two years. This seems a little strange to me, as he is obviously quite a catch (in addition to the good points I have mentioned about him, he also has a very glamorous job). So I asked him what did he think of our relationship, and he said he just wanted to be friends for the time being. Also that he does not have time for a girlfriend and that he can't concentrate on his job if he has a girlfriend.
That is fair enough, but he does not behave like someone who is just a friend. He does not have much free time, but he spends almost all of it with me. His
body language strongly indicates that he is attracted to me (he is
often "accidentally" touching
me, gazes into my eyes a lot, leans on me, or is physically in my personal space). He spends a lot of time writing emails to me. Why would he do all these things if he just wants to be friends? It is not because
he is lonely because I know he has many friends who are often calling him. I don't have any reason to think that my "boyfriend" is married or involved with anyone else, at all. There is no evidence of another woman in his car, and he is able to answer my calls or emails at any time without making excuses. He also seems like an honest and trustworthy person.
I have mentioned this problem to a married female friend of mine. She said that her now-husband did not attempt to touch her for the first six months of their relationship. She finally cracked after six months and initiated physical relations by herself, as she was so tired of waiting for him to make a move. She says some men can be like this if they are very serious about the woman. I am very attracted to him, and sometimes find it difficult to be with him if I can't touch or hold him like I would a boyfriend. I have not tried to kiss him in case he rejects me. Unfortunately he does not drink, so I can't get him drunk and
try to seduce him! What should I
do?
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