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Relationships for women over 30
Particularly with younger men
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Nicole is a
35-year old
single parent in Kansas with a 8-year old daughter and
has fallen for an 18-year old. "I never dreamed it would
go this far. He just kept on coming around being so nice
and sweet, buying me small gifts like
cute
panties,
fragrances, and chocolates. He can talk about anything
and when he
touches me OH MY GOD, I had no idea I could feel that
way anymore. It's like I am 16 or something. He says he
loves me and I am scared to tell him the same because I am
still not sure if we are going to be together. I guess
what I am saying is I have these strong feelings for the
guy but at the same time he is 18. I don't want to put too
much on him since I worry about
mortgage,
school tuition, and
paying bills - he maybe too young to take all that. I
do love him but but I don't want to hurt him. He has been
telling all his family about me and I have not told anyone
yet wondering what people will think. I shouldn't care but
I do. Please help me." |
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Indeed, yours
is a delicate situation and I am guessing that while
things have changed a lot in New York City or Los Angeles,
maybe not so much in Kansas yet.
Having
said that, it is important for you to understand that the
reason you are holding off is not valid. With the
current divorce rate in the US (50%) and God knows
what the
breakup rate is, if we think about the end before the
beginning, no one should
get into a relationship. What is the guarantee that a
35 or older man would not leave you - even worse, for a
younger woman? In reality, if the
roles were reversed, the man would not be asking me
this question. |
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If
you really feel the way you have told me, just go
ahead and enjoy every moment of it. There is no
need to be apologetic or embarrassed in front of
your friends and family members. You were not out
there looking for an 18-year old (though I don't
see anything wrong with that either). It happened
and you see no reason not to
cherish the relationship.
What
will happen tomorrow? Who knows? If we worry about
tomorrow, we can't live today. And what will
people think? People have nothing better to do
than to think something. If you were dating a
35-year old, they will still find something to
think about him -
he is fat, his hair is falling, he doesn't
make a lot of money, his nose is crooked, blah,
blah, blah....You are not committing a crime - you
are merely
celebrating your love. |
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