How to find a soulmate?

But, do you know who is your soul mate?

Monica writes, "I have been married twice and divorced simply because I could never truly bond with these men. They were good men but that is not the only thing I need from a man. I am financially independent, socially active, and can get what I want. That said, I think that there is nothing more beautiful than a couple that truly belong to each other, their hearts speak to each other, and they can live in a world of eternal happiness. Since I do not want to mistakes of the past two relationships, I want to get it right this time: I want my soulmate? What should I do?"

The concept of soul mate is very romantic and has been around for a long time. Unfortunately, there is no standard definition. In other words, a person has to come up with her or his own definition of it. For instance, in cultures with arranged marriages, your chosen wife or the husband is your only hope for a soulmate. Most couples seem to work with that approach and things typically work out fine. In our culture, where we spend more time choosing our mate than thinking about her/him, we seem to keep altering our definition of who a soulmate really is.

How to go about finding your perfect partner?

Define the qualities of YOUR soulmate. Don't be guided by novels and movies. Be realistic and spend a lot of time thinking about this.

Be ready to compromise. None of us is perfect and to expect a perfect partner is fooling ourselves.

Be open and direct about your requirements. If you place a personal ad or tell your friends/family about what you are looking for, spell it out. You are more likely to find the right person if you tell the world what you want.

Be prepared to work. Chances that you will find a readymade soulmate are remote to none. However, if both partners are committed to a good marriage, they can become soulmates over time.