|
|
Loretta
is in one of those
mature
women dating younger man situations (she is 36 while her
boyfriend of eight years is 27) and they have a four-year old son
together. As is very common after childbirth, she has not been
successful in
losing weight after pregnancy. "I am still not convinced that he
loves me. He always say he does, but yet, he does nothing to prove
it. For instance, the only places he takes me out is to the
supermarket, and if we have to transact some business together.
He always seems to be attracted to
slimmer women.
Sometimes it seems he's still with me because of our son. I'm
worried, confused and
desperate. What should I do?" she writes.
Indeed, it is
true that men expect their women to bear their child and when they
can't lose their pregnancy weight or something else changes about
them, they start to look at other women. They fail to appreciate the
damage a
pregnancy can do to woman's body. All the way from
weight gain to
sagging,
the blow to her
self-esteem
is extreme. (Related:
Build
self esteem)
What you need to
understand is that it is not impossible to
lose weight - I also
recommend that you do this with
diet and
exercise. It is that simple
and there is no shortcut.
Eat less and
exercise more - the weight
will disappear. There is no magic pill that works (Alli
pill review). All the
advertising for pills are misleading. Yes, if you are
morbidly
obese, you might consider
liposuction
or tummy tuck or both, or some kind of
weight loss
surgery, for example,
gastric bypass surgery.
 My fear is that
somehow he is somewhat embarrassed of being seen in public with you
because of your looks - it is not right, but that is how some men
react. It is his lack of self-esteem and
pride in himself and his
relationship. Instead of helping you become the woman that he wants
you to be, he is giving up on you.
I think if you
work seriously on your
weight loss program, you will be able to
save
this relationship. And even if you can't, it is still a good idea to
lose your weight for the sake of your overall health and
self-confidence. Plus, if you are
attractive, you can
find another
relationship easily.
The other thing
that you have to think about is if there is anything else wrong with
your relationship - do you still
communicate like people in love? Do
you have regular
intimacy like two lovers? Is the environment at
home a happy and loving one? If not, then it seems that the problems
in the relationship might extend beyond your weight.
|
