How to start foreplay

Preparation may be as important as actual lovemaking

Simone and Arthur (a couple in their 30s, married two years ago) write to me about their problem in the bedroom - the timing for each one of them is different. "While I am just getting started, it is already over for him, and I am left dissatisfied," Simone writes. In his defense, Arthur says, "It just takes her forever to get ready. I find it hard to wait that long. I really have no control over it. And then I get so frustrated with myself when she can't climax. What can I do?"

Well, you can blame Nature for part of the problem. The body of a man and a woman is different and the way the two bodies behave in the bedroom is quite different too. In simple words, while it takes longer for a woman to get ready and achieve the ultimate pleasure, the man can prepare himself for intimacy relatively quickly and also achieve pleasure quickly. Thus, the man is almost always satisfied while most women simply dream about it most of the time.

What can a couple do to have a mutually satisfying relationship?

Understand the difference. Once this happens, the whole process of lovemaking will change because you can synchronize it better for you.

Men should slow down. They respond faster to visual stimulation and touch. So always schedule at least 15-20 minutes for cuddling, romantic chat, flirt, massage, and other playful activities. This would not make the man so ready but a woman would love it.

Women should consider speeding things up too. Use a massager if you have to and apply a personal lubricant.

Prepare to make love

Preparation may be as important as actual lovemaking