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Experiences of romance with Japanese women
Japanese women can be difficult to understand but an effort should always be made

By Steve Gant

I met my first Japanese girl at a monastery (!) in northern England. I was 18 and she was 25, visiting England. She was really shy, and I didn’t know she was 25 for a while. Again I was with my parents on a boring missionary trip. I tried to talk to her about Japanese animation, as that was the way I became interested in Japanese culture and women. We exchanged addresses, and she wrote me many times from Japan about how much she liked me, which was weird, as we didn’t spend that much time together. That was my first exposure to the strangeness of the Japanese mentality.

Later the same year, I attended a university in England, where I shared a house with a Korean girl and a Japanese/Korean girl, who was quite good-looking. She already had a boyfriend so I had no chance. At this time I really started to get into Japanese culture and language. I traveled to Hong Kong (I was also into Chinese culture) to visit my friend from university. Hong Kong was kind of boring; I think I expected it to be like Japan. Actually some of the most interesting stuff I saw there was Japanese.

Two years later, I went to church (again) in the town were my Grandma lived in Northern California and meet a really cute Japanese girl, who turned out to be half Okinawan. I flirted with her heavily, and explained to her that she shouldn’t waste her time going to church. We spent days together, but she was also quite shy, and her English was bad (as was my Japanese) so I didn’t get anything done. She was a foreign exchange high-school student, and I was still at university in England (this was my summer break). We agreed to write to each other, as I had to return to England. Over the next year, her English got dramatically better, so communication was much better. After a year, we agreed to meet back in California (in the meantime she had gone back to Japan). We did, and it was love at second sight (or lust?).

I was staying with a friend in a cabin-style house, and invited her over everyday (she was staying with her ex-host family) We hung out a lot and became very close. The third night after seeing each other again, I suggested she stay the night because we were kind of drunk and high on weed.    At this point I'd like to point out the obvious: Japanese girls seem to be quite passive when it comes to physical intimacy, at least everyone I've ever been with.  

What can I say, I don’t want to get too carried away, but that was some of the best intimate experience I had ever had (I think the same was true for her too). I started having a long-term relationship with her after that, and actually lived with her in Japan for a year. It takes a while to get used to the Japanese way of thinking, especially when it comes to relationships. Japan is a really a male dominated society (as you may know); hence the easy availability of so many things for men. 

When in Japan, I was constantly surrounded by cute, pretty, and attractive girls (I wanted to be intimate with many of them, but the fact I lived with my girl hampered all those missions).  Most girls I met were very much into Gaijin (partly because most of them studied at a foreign language university). 

Recommended articles: How to find a Japanese girlfriend?    Romance Guide for Japan  How to find a Japanese woman

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