| I am supposed to be an ugly woman and I know it. I made up an excuse that I was too tired and just wanted to get some sleep tonight and thus could not have another drink, as Hiroo proposed. ~ The relationship with Hiroo was moving at such a fast pace that it almost seemed like a dream. So far everything had gone very well and that was the scary part. Hiroo is handsome, has an excellent job, and is so sophisticated when it comes to treating women. The hottest girls in Tokyo will probably go to bed with him at his first request. First, I had never had a romance of this kind. Second, I had never even been with someone so cute and desirable. Finally, it was starting to seem real. So far Hiroo had given no indication that he was a playboy. He seemed genuine in everything he said and that made me feel so emotional when I thought about him lying in the bed in the morning each day. In fact I was so overcome with emotions one day that I felt tears rolling down my cheeks. My mind was clear and I had slept well and that made me see so clearly. For the first time in my life, other than my parents, there was someone who genuinely cared for me and treated me special. I was just starting to ask myself if this was a dream or if it was for real. While I trusted Hiroo completely, I was still having a hard time convincing myself that this man will be genuinely interested in a long-term relationship with a girl who was generally described as ugly. That means that everywhere he went with me, he will have to contend with the fact that his wife is not cute and that could be a problem for him. ~ I had never even imagined that I would get married some day. Who is going marry me? I had asked that question to myself a hundred times. Several close relatives had joked with me regarding arranging an omiai for me and I always knew that it would be limited to just one date. ~ I was very confused at work all day and spent most of the time quietly working. I needed some time to be by myself to figure out my next steps. While I wanted it to just go on as it is, I was afraid that it will all crash very soon since it seemed so unreal. And then - I will be left heartbroken for the rest of my life. I want to fall in love, of course, but for the rest of my life. I do not want to fall in love with Hiroo if all he wants is to play with me. As I sat on the train back to work, I almost hoped
that I would not see Hiroo at the station. ~ Continued: Second date with her boyfriend | 
