Once that objective was achieved and the women realized that these men are no longer strategic to their lives, they simply move on – often without any explanation whatsoever (Related article:  A Japanese woman abandons her boyfriend).  While we were flooded with emails stating that this scenario has scared a lot of men to pursue romance with Japanese women, we received another story from an American woman, who is fascinated by Japanese men and was willing to do whatever it takes to be a wife, still she was ditched by her Japanese boyfriend.  

MYNIPPON recognizes that there are thousands of relationships filled with love and romance involving one Japanese person.  While inter-cultural marriages are sometimes challenging, in most cases, people married to Japanese are generally quite happy.  In fact we have recently had cases where the romance is so strong that two individuals have decided to move to Japan after abandoning their secure lives in America.  (Related article:  Experiences with Japanese women)

Similarly, a lady who does not want to give her name, tells MYNIPPON that she has found her Japanese boyfriend to be extremely caring.  She writes, "I have been dating my Japanese boyfriend for nearly two years, and this month we are moving in to an apartment together. He is the most thoughtful, generous, kind and trustworthy man I've ever dated. He's also endlessly beautiful and fascinating; I could stare into his eyes forever. Because our culture, history and language are different, there is always something new to discover, and I never feel bored (which has been a problem in past relationships). We were introduced through a mutual acquaintance; I think this type of introduction is very comfortable for Japanese, who can be rather shy. I recommend to any foreign woman living in Japan to try and get to know Japanese men. Foreign men in Japan tend to be on their worst behavior, spoiled by the attention they get from lovely Japanese women. So I think Japanese men have a lot more to offer foreign women. My experience has been wonderful."  (Related: Heather Schmidt speaks Urdu)

What do these stories mean?

It is hard to generalize, based on these cases, especially when the sample size is not large enough to draw conclusions one way or the other.  However, the instances in which Japanese people have simply left the relationship and moved on, are so high that these need to be reported so that others who are either contemplating or are already in a relationship are aware about these.  These individuals have to understand that cultural differences with Japanese people are sometimes so great that a lot of work is necessary to make the relationship work. 

A romance is a joint effort by the partners to make it successful.  Rather than going into a relationship with any preconceived ideas, MYNIPPON would encourage you to treat your relationship as unique that needs to be handled in a unique manner according to the circumstances.

What can make a relationship with a Japanese work?

1. Learn the Japanese language to the extent possible even if your partner speaks your language.  There is no better way to learn about Japanese culture than to learn the language.  Reading books is good but not enough to really grasp the intricacies of the culture that comes from discussions with natives in their native tongue.
2. Keep an open mind.  Japanese people are not very communicative and a lot of things are just left unsaid for the listener to interpret based on the context.  Be observant and think about the events to come up with explanations of event rather than take rash decisions.
3. Avoid causing embarrassment.  If they feel that the relationship is not working out, Japanese simply tend to walk away rather than fight hard to make it work.  Don’t hold on to the person and be prepared to move on.
4. The reasons that Japanese people enter into a romantic relationship are sometimes quite different than in other cultures.  For instance, Japanese people need to have partners and also need to be married for cultural reasons after a certain age.  This should enable you to put things in the right perspective.

Recommended links:  MYNIPPON Romance Guide for Japan  How to find a Japanese woman

Japanese girlfriend at American university campus       Right approach to dating Asians

Move to Japan     Secrets of Japanese women    Manage expectations in interracial romance

How to get a Japanese girlfriend?     Marriages in Japan    Deborah Kemp's views on romance

Seduction of Japanese women     One night stand with a Japanese woman  

Romance gone wrong with a Japanese     African American men and Japanese women  

Declining marriage rate in Japan      Breaking up Japanese style      Women dating Asian men

Relationships with Japanese women     Interracial relationship with a Japanese  

Meeting Japanese women     Challenges of relationships with Japanese

Experiences with Japanese women     A Japanese man finds relationship with an American woman

Japanese girlfriend    Relationship problems with a Japanese woman