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Raising
self esteem and becoming stylish
Keys
to being attractive to men
By Pierre
Coda
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This is what a lady in her early 30s
in Indiana wrote to us, "I have used every possible cream, lotion, and pill out there and it has not made any difference at all in increasing my size. Over the past 10 years I have become so insecure about my size that I find it VERY difficult to
be in a relationship without, at some point, thinking my boyfriend is looking at
other women and finding them more appealing than me and it ends up in a big fight! I cannot stand the idea of any summer activities where
bathing suits will be
worn. I have so many times wanted to get implants but always have this inner whatever that tells me that I am good enough just the way I am and if someone cannot see that and respect me for who I am and what God gave me, well, then I guess they just aren't for me! I ultimately end up being single again because I feel that the guy I am with at the time is either lying to me when he says I am good enough, or just says that for that initial reply and then as soon as we are around other women he is noticing and looking at
them!!! I am so tired of this feeling that comes into my stomach every time I am confronted with these feelings of inadequacy. I want to be able to go to the beach or wherever and not be intimidated by other women and become more
self
confident! Please help!"
Your email made our team feel really terrible. It was one of the most poignant emails that we have received. Another one that we recently received from an
Englishwoman (and eventually I ended up speaking to her on the phone) literally made us all cry.
Our research has shown that there are so many men out there that absolutely love women
like you. We say this because of the volume of emails that we receive from men and through our discussions with men over the years. Yes, there are men that like only large
women but similarly there are men who like only 100 lbs girls or red-haired girls or biker girls. What we have learned during our research is that such men have a lot more respect for women in general because they look at her as a person. It can be a challenge to find them sometimes but one great things about the
Internet and online dating is that now you can find a very specific person.
So we would strongly suggest that you make it clear in your personal ad how you look so that you will only
attract men that like you that way. You must also include a photo
of your ad in your personal.
Your second point about your boyfriend looking at
other women; well, I think a lot of it comes from your insecurity and lack of self
esteem. When we interviewed men and couples, as part of our research, we learned that even men who had
attractive wives did the same. It is just a man thing. They look at all women and if she has something special about her, all the more reason to look and look longer and frequently. So if you do end up in a relationship and the guy is genuinely interested in you, it is simply not fair to argue with him that he is not interested in you simply because you do not feel secure about yourself. You are unnecessarily destroying the relationship and it will simply leave the guy totally confused. He will be wondering what is wrong with this woman, "I like her a lot but she tells me that I don't." |
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I think you need a lot of help, mostly in form of having a
mentor in your life: someone who can
take your fears away and make you
yourself realize that a lot of your feelings are without basis. I am already a mentor to several of my other clients in similar
situations and I have seen that with just a few weeks of work the change
is remarkable.
Please also remember that most of us have some inadequacies. Even women with
perfect bodies feel something wrong about
their bodies: the fear of wrinkles, there is
too much fat at the
waist, the hips are too
big, the legs are not long enough, the
cellulite
looks ugly, the hair is messy, on and on and on. So just getting
implants, for example, is not going to solve your
problems, as you have realized yourself. You will just create some new ones.
(Related:
Self esteem for girls)
You are still very young and there are a lot of options for you to change your life. With just a little bit of advice, you will be able to make a huge difference in your
self-image and thought process. The second part of your program should include, as outlined in our
book, a complete change in your wardrobe, style, and
attitude. And trust me, it is easier than it sounds; particularly the attitude part. I personally recommend that all women
learn more about our model Isadora
Marshall. She is in her 50s, has an A cup, and is a widely sought-out
model. She has modeled for
MYNIPPON and all we can say is that she is one of the most remarkable women (and models) that we have
worked with. The last thing that she is worried about is her cup size; and
by the way, she is a model that frequently poses in lingerie and
swimwear.
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