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Relationships
with Japanese women
It
always doesn't work out great
By Jim Cheng
Continued from previous
page
| We both were again back in our own countries. About two months later, I had the same feeling that she was once again “distant” and
"busy." So I simply asked, "Have you found someone else?" She said, “YES!” Actually she used the words "Someone I
like." I was naturally jealous, angry, disappointed, and sad. I just couldn't believe it. We had had such good times, so
passionate and it was so obvious that we were going to be able to live together. I think that I was clear in my intentions to live with her. |
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Anyway, I started thinking about how find out what I did wrong. I came to the conclusion that maybe I was not clear about my feelings during our rendezvous in Miami. So I wrote a letter telling her that I loved her so much (although she knew it very well because I told her before), that I wanted to live with her, that everything I do I think about her, and that everything I planned to do I was also thinking about her by my side. Well, I told her everything straight and clearly like normal people do. I said that I wanted her to come to live with me and that I was also willing to go to Japan to live with her. I said I want "us to fight it together". What a waste of feelings!
Two months have passed and she hasn't replied so far. I asked her about the letter and she ignores my emails. The guy she is dating is another gaijin also, I later found out.
Finding someone that really loves you is not easy. When you do find someone, you must not let him/her go. Because if you do you will always regret it and the pain might kill you. I feel pain now – pain of deception, disappointment. There is a worst kind of pain out there. It is the pain of realizing you wasted an opportunity - it's the pain of regret.
Luckily my pain will go away. I don't regret it; I'm confident that I did everything well and that I gave her enough to make any woman in the world happy. I'm also sure that I gave many clues to make her understand that our love WAS possible.
So, here I am – broken-hearted while she is dating another guy. I feel impotent. I'm certain that I still love her but disappointed that she looked for someone else. I wish she had told me how she felt. I need to find a way of convincing myself that she is not good for me. Sometimes I feel confident that I will have my revenge. I will get over this and I will find a better woman. When that happens, I intend to take a
trip to Japan and show her how happy she could have been be with me. Yeah, it’s strange but I will like to do that. It’s funny but I still think that I am supposed to live with a
Japanese
girl. That would be even better; marrying a Japanese
girl, having nice children, and raising them not like
Japanese fathers do. Another thing that sometimes comforts me is thinking that she will most likely do it to him too though I am not sure if this new boyfriend of Noriko even knows about me!
My advice to all of you men out there
dating Japanese
women is – be very careful,
never let your guard down. Somehow, they can change you like they change dirty socks. Even if they cry for love. Even if you treat them well. (Of course there might be exceptions).
Remember, there are 3 kinds of people: THE STUPID (they repeatedly make
mistakes and they never learn from them), THE SMART (they make mistakes but learn from them), and THE WISE (they learn from other people’s mistakes and
have fun in the process). I hope you guys are WISE.
Related: Rocky
relationship with a Japanese woman
Sex with
Japanese women
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