Dating a man with baggage

Not worth it in most cases

I simply do not support dating a loser (Related:  How to breakup with a loser) and often recommend that women dump a useless man at the first available opportunity, that is, as soon as they realize that they are in a dead-end relationship. Barbara is in such a relationship. She is just 18 but dating Chris for 3 years. The problem is that he is 32 years old and has a 12-year old son from a previous marriage. "When I met Chris he was a mess and his ex-wife was stopping him from seeing his son. Then eventually she came around and let him see him twice a week. There are serious problems involving his son and his ex-wife's new partner (they are both on drugs). I know Chris is going through a rough time and all I have tried to do is be there for him, but for some reason he keeps saying I am selfish and he needs to look after his son. I just can't seem to get the point across that I know and respect that he has to be there for his son. He seems to think that I don't care about his son and I only care about myself."

She continues, "During the 3 years that we have known each other, I can't remember the last time we went out. We make plans to go places but he always lets me down. I love him so much but I'm starting to think that he is too old for me and I should start thinking about my own life instead of his for a change. I feel like I need to get away from him but I love him and I want to be with him. I just don't know whether to carry on the way things are and hope they will get better or leave, get over him and get on with my life. But to be honest I really don't know if I can leave. What would you do?" she asks

Chris is a man with a lot of baggage and I don't think an 18-year old girl should deal with that much baggage - no matter how nice the guy is (which Chris is not). Even worse, the guy does not appreciate what you do for him and how much you love him. I wouldn't even be surprised that he is indirectly hinting that he wants to breakup by abusing you emotionally and ignoring you. I think you have a long and beautiful life ahead of you and it will be a waste to deal with someone like him while you could focus on your education and career right now. Trust me, even if you leave him, it is not the end of the world for either one of you. He will be fine without you, it seems, and you will realize that you were being dragged into a mess at such a young age in your life. Girl, there is so much out there for you to do - so go and do it, rather than getting into the troubled life of a single parent whose ex-wife is on drugs and wants to kidnap their child.

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