Making love for first time

Can it be special?

Women expect that when they lose their virginity, it will be a very special moment for them. It is, but only for those that do not lose it when they are in their early teens, as most Americans do. No wonder then that for most of them it is painful, an anti-climax, and not as much fun as they thought it would be. It takes a lot of skill to do it right and most teenagers do not have those. Something similar also happens when you make love to a new partner for the very first time, even if you are a grownup. The two people need to get totally comfortable with each other and that takes time. So the first time is rarely a time to remember forever.

That is exactly what happened to Nellie. She was being pursued by a wonderful guy for months and finally she consented to being intimate. "He was quite attentive but I feel I have to remind him of foreplay. I didn't really want to have our first time in my car but so be it. I am somewhat disappointed and am wondering if I should I see him again. Am I being too analytical here because I didn't want to give up my precious self to someone I don't see a future with? I am trying to go with the flow but I don't think I want to be with a man that does not know how to please a woman. Please help," she writes.

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I think you are indeed over-analyzing it. While we all dream of doing everything special (Myths about relationships) with our lover (like in the Hollywood movies), the reality is quite different.  Things happen fairly spontaneously in life and everything still has its beautiful moments. If you were to spend the rest of your life with this man, some day you will laugh about it and talk about it as a very sweet memory. Regarding foreplay, well, if you made love in the car, that doesn't leave much scope for it. Hopefully, as you feel more comfortable with each other romantically and sexually and find a comfortable bedroom with plenty of time, things would go much better.

Now if you don't see the future with this man, why are you with him? Are you so positive that you don't see a future or do you want to be open-minded? If you answer that he is not the man for you, then say so to him and end it. However, if there is a possibility and you like being with him, then, this is just the natural thing to happen in any relationship. So I would say enjoy it. Nellie, don't make life any more complex than it needs to be.