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Life after divorce
Tips for men to get over their first marriage
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Steve has sent
in his rather tragic story. "MYNIPPON is a great website,
but it doesn't have insight into
breakups
from relationships nearly as long as mine. I am 26
years old, and have been with my girlfriend for 11 years
(3 years as wife). That's a lot to get over. She really
doesn't show any effort in the relationship anymore. She
avoids me and never wants to talk. We live in a
sexless marriage, and everything is falling apart.
This has been getting progressively worse for the last 2
years and it has finally led to the
end
of our beautiful relationship. I didn't want this to
happen, and I still don't. I love her with everything I
have, and it almost annoys me to read
articles about people suffering over a breakup from a 3
year relationship or a 2 week fling. This is the most
pain I have ever felt in my life. I met her when I was 15,
so we have grown up together. All of our firsts were with
each other (including
losing my virginity).
First true love.
First home away from parents.
First bank account together. Life as adults together.
We have done everything together, and now I am supposed to
just walk away and live as if nothing happened? A lot of
articles say "You were you before the relationship, you
will be you after the relationship." The only problem is,
I WAS FIFTEEN YEARS OLD BEFORE THE RELATIONSHIP! I
really hadn't become who I am today. Anyway, I feel like
my life is over. I would like some helpful advice
for people
ending really long term relationships that covered
important growing portions of their lives." |
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Indeed, your
story is a tragic one. However, it is important for you to
learn from your experience and use it to your advantage.
Life is nothing but a series of experiences, and while
painful, you have learned a lot more than many men of your
age. You have learned about relationship, love,
marriage, and
problems that can happen despite your best efforts.
(Related:
How to treat your ex)
Another
thing that you have to remember is that nothing is
constant in our lives - every moment something is
changing. It can be both good and bad. I am sure that a
lot of good things have happened to you and some are not
so good - like, this one. |
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I
do not agree that your life is over. For God's
sake, you are only 26. Many
 men
have not even
fallen in love at this age or
gotten married; so you have a long life to
live and you can make it a happy one.
You
must also not lose your
trust in relationships, love,
marriage, and people. Of course, there are bad
and even mean people, but like you, there are
absolutely wonderful people on the planet. If you
do your best, you will find new love and can
live a beautiful life.
Finally,
do not try to erase the
memories - it is hard - but use your
experiences in life to become stronger and
smarter. |
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