The western women are generally quite used to being hit in bars, restaurants, and parties that if they do get approached by a Japanese man for nanpa, they are not inclined to react with fear. If anything, they might likely feel a bit flattered since many of them find the Japanese so inscrutable and difficult to approach.  (Related article:  A real nanpa story from Kyoto)

Jennifer, who moved to Japan from America three years ago, with a big drive being her strong attraction to Japanese men. She assumed, incorrectly, that it would be easy to get a boyfriend here. She tells us, “I've found that if I do not approach Japanese men first, they will simply assume that I am not interested in them and that I can't speak Japanese (which I can). It drives me nuts that Japanese men assume western women do not find them appealing! Sometimes I feel like I need to wear a t-shirt that says "Japanese men PLEASE talk to me!" (Related article:  How to attract men?)

While a small group of Japanese men is now interested in dating (marriage is still relatively rare) foreign women, Japanese men have not been the ones to take initiative with them.  In fact foreign women are among the loneliest of people in Japan.  The gaijin men are getting so much attention from Japanese girls that they deliberately ignore them and Japanese men are too shy to approach them.  In this case, it is relatively safe for gaijin girls to try nanpa or at least a milder version of it.  In the worst case, the guy will simply smile and move on or you might be rewarded, as Jennifer did.  “I nanpa-ed him. I saw him on the street corner and I made my move. It wasn't the first time I had done such a thing either. Some men have found my aggressiveness frightening and literally ran away from me, but others have been quite receptive and flattered. Nanpa is done in a public place, so there is very little risk of getting hurt. As far as exchanging numbers and arranging dates, one simply has to use the same caution they would in any other situation. Had I not been aggressive in this way, I highly doubt that I would be involved with a Japanese man right now. Sometimes, I think that the issue isn't whether or not nanpa is safe, but rather that it is simply the ONLY way”, she tells us.   (Related:  African American women and Japanese men)

Here are a few more tips for women who want to try nanpa in Japan:

(1)      Dress well so that you are not confused with someone who is too desperate and will run off with the wallet.

(2)      It helps to know some Japanese though fluent Japanese might actually be a disadvantage.  So if you do speak fluent Japanese, try it only when you actually halfway there.  Speaking broken Japanese is likely to invite a higher level of interest. 

(3)      Do not persist.  Give up if your trick does not work.  Try a new trick or approach new men.

(4)      Watch out for your safety too.  Keep a cell phone with you and suggest a love hotel in an area that you know reasonably well.  Have sufficient cash to get a taxi back home.  Also carry a proper ID with you in case you get into trouble.