Beth: I posted my personal ad on an online dating website (Related link:  How to find love online?) and found a wonderful 55-year old man. I found him to be very nice and genuine. We dated continuously. We planned things together, and found ourselves always together. We finally decided to live together (after months of dating). He told me that he was looking for a wife and I was looking for a lasting, long-term relationship. We were so much "into" each other. I could not believe that I had actually found my soul mate online (Related link:  Who is a soul mate?). There was nothing that I wanted that he would not give me. He did everything for me. Then I noticed him changing about a month and a half ago. He became irritated if I did not do things the way he wanted it done or when I started spending my own money. And then one fine day he wanted me out of "his" house the coming Friday by 3 PM. So, I am literally without a place to live with my dog. From what I know about him, he has been alone too long. I wonder if this has made him a control-freak. He is never wrong, and will never say he is sorry. He had me controlled by "giving" me things and planning trips and fun things together. My thought is that he was doing these things to hide his sadness and insecurities. I can not seem to go on without this man. I am in love with him, but, I am being turned away, almost as though he wants me to hate him. He is in my skin, mind, and soul. I want to move on but I am stuck. I am still hoping that he "wakes up" and notices me and the goodness in me and want to be with me for the rest of his life; as I was prepared to do for him. He led me to believe that we would be together. We still have plans on the books.....he walked away from my love. Please help!"

Pierre Coda: We discussed your case and we think that there are two possibilities: 

• He has met someone else or somehow has changed his mind about a  relationship with you. Instead of confronting you directly, he just is making your life difficult so that you will move on.
• He is depressed for whatever reason and needs to see a doctor.

While I can understand the strong feelings that you have for him and the unfortunate set of conditions you are in, it appears that for all practical purposes, this relationship is over. There is little hope for salvaging this relationship. It will be best for you to simply move on.  April Masini, the romance Goddess, suggests that when your partner changes, you have three options: change them, live with the new person, or get the hell out the door (Related link:  Dump or not).  I believe that it is time that you only have the third option left.  We also know that the world is full of wonderful people and people like you are finding romance and relationships literally every day.  (Related:  Life after divorce)  

Beth: This is very difficult for me to accept (the relationship being over and for me to move on). Although I am convinced that this is what I HAVE to do, I still miss him and love him. He took my happiness and a big part of me and it is very difficult for me to find me. I thought of him "finding" someone else. He is not very personable. He finds women online. He is still "keeping in touch" with me in his ways. I want to move on. Everything that we did and the places that we went, is a constant reminder. I am moving out of this state, just to get away from all of the reminders. All I would like is for him to communicate his feelings so that I can tell him how hurt and painful this has been for me, then I can say that I have closure.  (Related:  Brittany Murphy Joe Macaluso breakup)