Meanwhile, on the Computer…

Since I wrote my last article a lot has changed in my “cyber life”.  In order to preserve other people’s privacy, I’ll refrain from mentioning their names and won’t go into detail about them.  Here goes.  A few days after writing my first article I dated an older girl from Australia for a while.  I really liked her, and she was the first “true” girlfriend that I had ever had, that is, if you call an online relationship a true love.  I wasn’t aware of it until a year later, but the girl lied to me about a lot during our relationship and had cheated on me many times – plus she was never honest about her feelings for me.  I eventually got over her and stopped talking to her.  

I befriended a kid from the US while I was dating her and he and I had become the best of ‘Net pals.  I talked to him for 1 ½ years, but because I always bothered him with my many problems and issues I eventually pushed him away not too long ago.  The Asian girl that I mentioned last time, the one who disappeared, I did end up running into her a few more times long ago, but everywhere I found her she had left and ignored me.  This kept up for a few months until I got into a fight with her and lost contact with her.  Many of the friends I had made who were so nice to me at that time either back-stabbed me or vanished, and when I went to talk in chat rooms I had little luck finding any Japanese people to befriend, let alone nice, civilized people.  To make things short, I only have three main friends at the moment – one is a friend of the girl I used to date, one of them is a South Korean girl with a unique sense of style, and the other moved to Canada from Europe.  While I did date the first two girls a little, both of the relationships failed, and it wasn’t until after that that I realized Internet relationships are impossible (for a teenage kid pursuing them through all kinds of free websites - I understand that adults are succeeding in large numbers by using high quality websites).  Currently, I talk to those three girls and three of my pals when I’m online, but I don’t have much in common with all of those people.  I’m hoping to meet Japanese people to be friends with, but I guess I won’t have much luck at that until I learn Japanese. Actually, things haven’t turned out so bad, though.  I’ve had time to grow and learn more about life.  I think that one day I’ll be looking back on those “relationships” and realizing that it was all rather comical.

The Decision

It seems like only yesterday that I sat down and began to write my first article for MyNippon.  That happened almost two years ago.  I didn’t believe it myself, but I have spent about two years of my life surfing the Internet!  Well, luckily my habits are about to break as I enter a new stage in my life – I like to refer to it as the “preparation stage”.  This summer I turn sixteen, and in a matter of two years I have to decide what I want to do with my life – and I have made that decision already, officially.  After two years of planning I’ve finally made the brave decision to prepare for my adventure to Tokyo!  Although I don’t have a job yet I will search for one this summer and save up as much money as possible so that I can go to Japan after high school ends.

So, how does a young American boy go about preparing for his journey to the orient?  As I said before, I haven’t done a lot lately, but that is all about to change.  While I spend most of my time memorizing the locations of hidden items in video games, I will put my controller down more often this summer and take time out of my schedule to learn Japanese!  I have wanted to learn Japanese for some time now, but due to various delays and partial laziness, I never managed to learn any.  Now I’m going to get strict with myself – I’m just going to keep telling myself, “I know this is hard, but I have got to master Japanese in order to fulfill my dream and move to Japan!”  It’s amazing what I can do when I stop being lazy and become determined – I even amaze myself sometimes.  I would give that advice to anyone else out there who really wants to move to Japan – try your best and just force your way through learning Japanese, and it will be worth it in the end.

Yeah, I know I’m giving myself a lot to live up to, but I’m willing to do whatever it takes to get to Japan.  I have given thought to this for some time now and I know that this is what I really want.  Most people that I talk to always tell me, “You’re crazy, why would you want to move to Japan when you live in America?”  Well I hate to say it, but the US isn’t for everyone.  USA is a great country, and I am happy to be from here, but people who want to move here should also keep in mind that there are many restrictive laws here, many of the locales (at least where I come from) are generally mean people, and you pretty much end up letting go of the traditions and beliefs that you carried with you from your home country.  Don’t let that discourage you, though – there are many great reasons to live here as well.  People have given me many reasons not to move to Japan, but do I let that bring me down or change how I feel?  No.  You can’t tell weather or not you will like living in a country until you actually go there – you can’t make a judgment until you get the whole story. (Related article:  Experience of living long-term in Japan)

Words of Warning

Yet, deep inside of me, I must admit that sometimes the rumors people tell me about Japan get me thinking.  I learned a little bit about the history of Japan last summer and we talked a little about WWII in history class just recently.  Just imagining what the Japanese did back then is horrible – the things they did were truly terrible.  It’s hard to believe the Japan that slaughtered and raped many other Asian countries is the same Japan that is the world leader in robotics now.  As cruel as the Japanese were back then, though, these aren’t the same people in charge now – their children and grandchildren are different people living in different times, each with their own individual thoughts and beliefs.  I want to say that I forgive the Japanese people for whatever happened back then – those were tough times and, after all, the Japanese military was what caused that chaos back then, not the women and children.  I feel great sympathy for the other countries of the Far East as well, but if Italy and Germany can be forgiven, then I think Japan should be too.  It has been over fifty years since those tragic years, and times are much better now, so I would like to see the countries join in peace instead of separating in war.  Aside from what has happened in the past in Japan, I admit that I do feel worried about the media over there, and the rich businessmen who work in buildings by day and look for young girls who sell themselves by night (or enjo kosai).  I totally disagree with a few of the things that the Japanese believe in and approve of, and this is one of them.  The government over there should give women the same equal rights that men have, I don’t like the way that men are still thought of as the dominant gender over there.  It isn’t right.  Still, no matter how many rumors and worries there are concerning Japan, I won’t let it stop me from finding out what it is really like there first-hand.  

Racism in America

While few people will admit it, it’s true that a lot of Americans (at least around here) are racist.  Honestly, racism toward African-Americans has reduced somewhat over the years, but there is lots of racism going on here with Hispanic and Asian people.  I won’t go into detail about what is said, but disappointingly enough, even kids younger than me are making terrible remarks about foreigners.  I hear adults bring up the fact that foreigners come here and take American jobs for lower wages, and the teens bring up the fact that the foreigners smile and giggle as they walk past you in groups, seeming to make fun of you.  There are reasonable explanations for these things of course, I think.  But even if there isn’t, I do not think it gives Americans the right to start saying terrible things about foreigners, and we should try to make friends with them and accept them into our country instead of threatening them.  We have got to stop racism; it’s the only way that we can hope for a peaceful future.  And everyone, don’t let what someone says about your heritage bother you – you are unique and great just the way you are.  (Related:  Black women and Japanese men)

New Dreams and Goals

A bright future awaits me in Japan; I’m sure it does.  I’ve always had this feeling that I’ll fit right in when I go there, but I know it won’t be that easy.  Yet…Maybe I’m not too far off, either?  I have wishes just like everyone else, and I’ve made some new ones recently.  I think I’ve discovered what I want to be remembered as when I go to Japan – I want to be a legend.  Here in America every day of my life has been the same – I wake up, go to school, people depress me, my parents never give me privacy, I play games, sit bored for half an hour, then go to bed.  I don’t like this lifestyle, and I certainly don’t want to live this way anymore when I go to Japan.  I want to be happy for a change; I want to walk down the streets of Tokyo with a heart of gold and a smile that brightens everyone’s day.  I want the schoolgirls to wave to me and give me the peace sign, I want the guys to bow at me and holler to me.  I want people to stare at me with a mix of pride and shock, and I want to be noticed, but not talked to.  I want to become the most popular Gaijin in Japan!  I want everyone to love me and adore me, and I want to have close friends for a change.  Okay, so it is a lot to dream about, but it would be so nice if I could at least be accepted over there and find good friends.  Maybe someday, when I least expect it, I’ll meet the girl of my dreams and we’ll fall in love with each other? -^_^- (Yeah, I dream too much).

But, realistically, I do have many goals that I would like to accomplish before moving to Japan.  I am becoming more interested in trying Japanese foods.  For me, the idea of eating raw fish isn’t so bad, as I really don’t care much about food as long as I get something to eat.  I think it would be interesting to try something new, and who knows, maybe I’ll like it?  I have to eat something other than ramen and rice for a change, after all.  As I mentioned earlier, I plan on learning the Japanese language in a few days.  I want to start out simple with basic phrases and words, then work my way up to complex kanji pronunciation and stuff.  I would like to see anime and styles with a more oriental feel, so when I go to Japan I will probably be changing my wardrobe and favorite manga series.  I would like to get an expensive cell phone when I go to Japan, the best kind that I can afford, and it will have all sorts of neat features and gizmos.  I’ll add the phone numbers of all of the friends I meet in Japan to it, and I’ll use a telephone for one of the first times in my life. (I honestly never used telephones much in my life, I never liked them.)  Also, I’m anxious to try out their seat-warming toilets and other enhanced versions of popular inventions!  I’m going to love it! ^ ^