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How to give  massages to your partner?
What kinds of problems you might face while giving massages?

Considering the fact that shiatsu massages are so common in Japan (and now all over the world) and massage being an integral part of Japanese couples' lives (Related link:  Massage options for couples), we had earlier highlighted how to give a massage to your partner.  However, in response to our article on massages, women wrote highlighting two major problems:  

  • The man relaxes to a point that he falls asleep.

  • The tickling can spoil everything for certain men.

Falling asleep

Most people associate a massage with relaxation.  Therefore, if a person is exhausted, a massage is likely to induce sleep.  Therefore, a massage is a bad idea when the man is tired.  Reserve this type of massages to those occasions when you are certain that the man is not exhausted.

Tickling

Teresa writes, “I am very good at massages but its hard to do, because he is tense from working out and I just cannot get past the ticklish areas.  I heard baby oil may work, but apparently it does not work.”

Lindisima Team, whom we consulted for this question, has the following advice:

  1. There is no need to buy any special oils. A high quality, natural ingredients based oil is all you need.
  2. Ticklish areas on the body are unique to each individual. Some people have wider areas and/or more sensitive than others but most individuals will have some reaction to touching, especially when touched by someone you are intimate with. Not much is known about human tickling except that tickling gets amplified when it is unexpected, even from people we know.  First you have to make sure that you clearly understand your partner's sensitive areas and he has to help you know these. Avoid them to the extent possible. The next step is to avoid giving massages for first few months on bare skin. Put a very light, preferably fine Egyptian cotton or muslin sheet and massage on top of the sheet. This will avoid skin-to-skin contact and, over a period of time, make him feel comfortable with your touch. Thirdly, take the element of surprise out (which is largely responsible for tickling) - tell him what area you are going to touch as you massage him. For example, say something like "Now I am going to massage the back of your neck" so that he know what to expect. And then if you move to the shoulders, say so.
  3. For the first few times, give him health massages. Tell him that these will be therapeutic massages rather than something else.
  4. The Japanese typically take a long, hot bath before going to bed.  Soaking in hot water helps in many ways, including making the skin less sensitive for a short while.  Thus, taking a hot bath (or even a shower) is probably a good idea prior to the massage.

Recommended:  Spa at home for couples, easy and inexpensive      A Japanese couple tease each other    Thai foot massage

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