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How
to date an Asian woman?
Secrets
of a healthy relationship with an Asian
| It appears
to be a mixed bag – men who have found the love of their life with a
Japanese or an Asian woman seem to delighted and at the other extreme are
men who would simply love to be in the other camp but cannot get there for
a variety of reasons. Many of
the folks in the other camp have complained incessantly and think -
interracial romances are myths, it is not really true that Japanese/Asian
women are interested in non-Asian men for long-term relationships, and the
cultural differences are just too wide for them to get along. We have published a series of articles and first person
accounts of people in both camps.
(Recommended link: Interracial marriages)
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As everyone is realizing, it is
no longer easy to find
love.
Times have changed to a point that it is no longer a man’s world.
Women have careers, many of them are financially independent, and
marriage is no longer a must to be accepted in most metropolitan areas.
Thus, women are picky and they have a right to do that.
This change is more remarkably seen among Asian women, who are now
enjoying their newfound freedom. Thus,
the age-old image of an Asian woman as a docile, innocent, mindless soul
is totally out of place in Asia, and even more so, in the West, where
Asian women have excelled in many ways.
Thus, the
question is – what is the best way to approach an Asian woman if you are
attracted to Asians? Does it
require serious study of cultures? Does it mean special attention to certain things and which
ones?
Our position
is that while people are different, they are also the same.
Isn’t a woman from New York different from her counterparts from
South Dakota? Isn’t a woman
from the Upper East Side different from the one in Bronx?
Of course, there are subtle differences in culture, role
expectations for men and women, and the manner in which men and women
socialize. But all women
expect to be treated in almost similar fashion all over the world –
affection, respect, romance, and intimacy are universal feelings.
To highlight how effectively this works, look at what Scott tells
us:
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 I
am a 26
year old male and attend a university in the United States.
I met a 24 year old foreign student, Cate, from Taiwan at a dance.
She was very quiet and a good friend introduced us. I shook her hand
and tried joking a little with her but she just smiled. All my
friends and I go almost every weekend to dance and I had the luck of
getting to drive Cate. She sat quietly in the car and to fill the
silence I put on a CD and began to sing and move around like I always do
when I listen to music. Seeing me as a naturally cheerful person,
she loosened up too and thought this was pretty cute. A few nights
later I invited her over to study with me and I kissed her for the first
time. This was a turning point for us and the next night we had a
very passionate and incredible experience in bed together. And as
they say the rest is history.
Believe it
or not, we got married in September 2002. I have to agree
that although it took a very short time to become intimate with her, we
dated for a year before we got serious enough for her to consider going
against her family and her culture to marry me. It is interesting to
note that Cate asked me the first night we made love (a week after we met)
if it were just a fling or if I was interested in a relationship.
What surprised me what that she was quite blunt about it. She said
she enjoyed our intimacy even if it were a fling, but that she would be
interested in trying a relationship.
So the
bottom line is – it doesn't matter if the woman is Asian or American or
African, it matters what the woman is looking for. Cate was shy and
quiet, but as soon as I made a move, by kissing her, she unleashed a
desire I have never experienced from any college girl. The trick is
finding out what the woman is looking for. Sometimes you have to
take the risk and make a move to find out. If you get slapped and
never talked to again, well hey move on. Most of the time, though,
if what you have in mind is not what they want, they will just say so and
it won't be that big of a deal and a friendship will develop or not be
hurt if there is already one. At least your desires for the woman
will be known to her and if she accepts them you've got it made, if not no
harm done. So go for it, but be respectful if they stop you and
getting embarrassed is just part of the price.
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