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How to date Asian men?
What do Asian men expect from non-Asian women?

We started MYNIPPON initially to provide a forum for all those people who sincerely loved Japan (the website has since evolved into something much larger). People who loved it despite its deficiencies – unfair treatment of foreigners, widespread discrimination (of anyone who is different, even if they were Japanese), and isolationism. These are the people who are determined to make things better – not by criticism but by actively engaging the Japanese people towards making Japan a better place. Of course, to this group belong a large number of foreign men (there is a disproportionately large number of foreign men who end up in Japan - mostly as English teachers) scattered all over the world, who are simply fascinated by Japanese women. They want them as pen-pals, friends, or in many cases, as girlfriends and wives. We receive dozens of emails every week stating these things. We receive stories of happy and sad stories of romance with Japanese women. We get suggestions on what works and what doesn’t. And above all, we are asked tons of questions every day that we try to answer.

As we tried to keep up with this unstoppable deluge of requests from men, the one who got ignored most was the foreign woman, especially the one that likes Japanese men. Japanese men have been ridiculed enough all over the world for a large number of reasons – boring, dull, feminine looking, un-sexy (including poor bedroom performance), lacking in interests beyond work and golf, etc. We knew all along that these attributes are present in all men – not just the Japanese. The sad part was that some of these comments come from women who have had a chance to interact with them. Thus, the content on MYNIPPON ended up heavily weighted towards foreign men who wanted to find Japanese lovers. (Related article: Tips for American women in Asia to find a relationship)

We have worked hard to present a more balanced picture of the Japanese man and it seems that it is now working. Japanese men are like most other Asian men with some unique traits that are specific to Japan. Beyond that, they are just normal men that you will find anywhere else in the world too. And this message that we tried to put forward is now working. The number of women, who can see beyond the first impression, is growing. They want to know more about them now, learn techniques to charm them, and many of them would even like to have them as lovers and husbands. (Related: Dating Vietnamese men)

The reasons are simple – Japanese men are now opening up to foreign women. While only Japanese women traveled overseas, learned English, and sought non-Japanese lovers in the past, now Japanese men are getting into the game. With men in smaller towns and remote areas having a tough time finding brides, the Japanese men are looking overseas – former Soviet republics, China, Vietnam, The Philippines, and even the West. It is estimated that in Tokyo, 10% of the marriages involve a foreigner. Nationally, there were as many as 40,000 international marriages in 2001 (approximately 5% of the total registered).

This is a remarkable trend in a country where most estimates put the number of foreigners at 1.5 to 2.0 million or 1% of the population (out of which 750,000 to 1.0 million are Koreans who have lived in Japan for generations but do not hold Japanese passports – they also do not marry the Japanese in most cases).

Analysis of marriage data

Believe it or not, but the data presents some startling results – the number of Japanese men marrying foreign women outnumber 3 to 1 the number of Japanese women marrying foreign men. Remember that this data is based on number of registered marriages in Japan and no statistics could be found by us on the number of Japanese people marrying outside Japan and not registering the marriage in Japan.

Here are a few more conclusions that can be drawn:

Japanese men are more likely to marry a foreign woman if they enter into a relationship with her though there are instances of them avoiding commitment if they are not inclined to marry, though stars like Maki Osa are more open minded.
Japanese men are marrying in Japan either women that are already there or through arranged marriages with women from other countries.
Japanese men will typically stay in Japan after marrying a non-Japanese woman.
Japanese women are more likely to marry foreign men while they are overseas and then typically do not return to Japan.
Japanese women may be relatively more interested in dating foreign men but do not necessarily wish to marry them.

No wonder, we are starting to hear more frequently from women who want to learn about them. So all those women out there who want to marry a gentleman who will hand over all his salary to you every month, will rarely eat at home, and pretty much leave you alone, then go find a Japanese guy.

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