Sue writes, "I am a 21-year-old girl in Singapore and I have a rather unusual problem that has been driving me nuts. Recently, I find myself feeling very attracted to this total stranger who is an employee at my rather large company (so it is hard to call him a colleague).  Actually I am a very shy girl. I thought of writing him a note or something and I got it all out but just couldn't gather enough courage to pass it to him. I sense his attraction to me (after careful observance for 2+ months), but still we have made no progress. I would really like to be his friend and know more about him. I am wondering if someone could help me since I really feel helpless about this whole situation. Incidentally, I am quite an attractive girl. I have a casual dressing style and I like bright cheerful colors. I consider myself to be a romantic person and have had one relationship so far. I think we broke up since we could not communicate well – I am rather shy, as I said, and he would not ask me enough questions. I consider myself to be even hot and I have seen this guy looking at me all the time. Other than looking at me, he has not even smiled at me. I like interesting men who are able to communicate well with me, are kind, intelligent, compassionate, and somewhat emotional."

Some men are extremely shy too, and this man happens to belong to that group. At least till they get to know you, these men will generally not make the first move especially with a "colleague" where they may feel that they could get into trouble with those monsters in the HR department. It appears, though, that this man is also attracted to you.  And it is no longer a taboo for a woman to approach men.  In a recent survey by Perfectil, 64 percent of women stated that they would happily ask a man to marry them and 36 percent are comfortable to make the first move to approach men and chat them up. 

If there is some way to at least introduce you to him (without passing a note) please do so. If you run into him in the hallway or the elevator, you can always ask about the lunch menu since that is where you see him any way. You could even suggest that you eat together sometime. An even better excuse is to show interest in his work and tell him that you have always wanted to work in that department and maybe he can tell you more about it so that you can make up your mind. Tell him that you would love to hear from someone who knows the department well.  (Related:  African American women and Japanese men)

We would suggest that you first take a totally non-romantic approach so that no embarrassment is caused to either party. Remember men are very concerned about facing rejection so why not make the first move yourself? Take a proactive approach and there is no fun in feeling helpless and just letting the opportunity go away.   (Related article:  Approaching the person of your dreams)

Rob Hill thinks that it is a better idea to approach him in as casual a manner as possible to gauge his interest and overcome initial shyness. He points out, “Men are sometimes shy but once you get to know them on friendly terms, they will open up. Try finding him when he's on his own and ask him the time or something like that. Even though it may not be saying much, at least, you have made that first contact. Then whenever you walk by him, smile at him and chances are he will smile back. From then on you can start making small conversation whenever you see him”.  Mark suggests that Sue should even try to sit close to him at lunchtime to expedite things or otherwise Sue might regret it. Dave Tolan advises, “It matters little what he does or might do. If this is important to you, make it happen, say "hello," and introduce yourself. If he has even the slightest interest in you, he'll take advantage of the opportunity. Here's something else: don't force yourself, have fun with this. And last, when you two finally do get around to talking, talk about his favorite subject - him. He'll be more comfortable talking about a subject he's most familiar - himself.”  (Related:  How to approach an Asian man)

Edmond has written a long message and says, “One thing is for sure, this is a serious "CRUSH" you got there. Sue, your being in love with this person maybe temporary and you shouldn't be too worried about it. Love isn't there to make people feel sad or aggravated on getting it. Love is to care and to show that you love and care for that person or thing. Words alone won't change everything, even though your speech or charisma is good. Action is the golden move to achieve something you want. WORK ON IT, MATE!”