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How to find relationships and dates online
By Pierre Coda
| As many as 70%
of the respondents to a MYNIPPON survey say that they have found that the
Internet is the fastest and most efficient way to find dates, friends, and
even, spouses. Online romance has allowed both women and men to
check out a larger number of potential candidates by first being able to
read their profiles first (of course, after screening them using great
screening and sorting tools), exchange emails to check if the initial
interest is mutual, chat online, speak over the phone, and only if the
interest is deep at both ends, have a proper date. Thus, you can now
meet only high-quality candidates. No wonder the marriage rate among
people who meet this way is so much higher. We should clarify though
that we are only counting those people who have met through high quality
websites which require completion of detailed profiles, and while they may
have free trial periods or promotions, typically require a modest payment
(a list of websites that I have found to be the most effective is below). I am
strongly advising my clients to stay away from totally free
websites. Since they are free, they attract a lot folks who are not
serious and because a payment is not required, they can lie about almost
everything. (Related article: Finding
a girlfriend) |
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How to start?
If this is the
first time for you to try to find romance on the Internet, then do you
research first. For example, if you are ready for a serious
long-term relationship or marriage, you might consider eHarmony since their members are not seeking dates or casual romance. The
company uses several proprietary technologies (be prepared for answering
several questionnaires) to assess your personality so that they can find
the right match. Then they provide you with human assistance so
that you have all the support you need to go ahead with the search.
Another
leading website Match.com also offers a series of personality and physical attraction tests to make
a better match though my understanding is that their technology is not as
advanced as others. However, they do have a huge database to choose
from since you can simply look for dates without necessarily worrying
about long-term relationships and marriage.
The reason I like Lavalife.com
is that it offers a lot of flexibility. You can either choose dating
or relationships or what they call as 'intimate encounters' (which means
that you are meeting very specific folks). So if you are simply
looking for very casual romance, you can focus on those profiles
that are listed under intimate encounters. They also have a very
nice section for gays and lesbians.
If you are young, then your best bet
is Cupid
Junction.
They are part of a network of websites so that you can access a massive
database of members. That means that by paying to only one website
you can access multiple databases.
How to pick a program?
All the
programs that I have listed above offer free trial. This is
important because a free trial allows you to test the system, find out
what kind of people are in the system, and then decide if you want to stay
or not. That is why I would suggest that you try multiple websites
and then maintain your membership in at least three. It is also
better to buy annual memberships - they are quite inexpensive and unless
you get married there is no harm in having the flexibility in case a
relationship does not work out. While a relationship is going well
if you do receive any proposal you can polite decline them (but save the
prospects) so that in case your current relationship does not work out you
have a ready-to-use short list.
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Match
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Lavalife |
eHarmony |
Cupid Junction |
| Launch date |
1995 |
1997 |
2000 |
NA |
| Cost |
$24.95/month |
Pay only for contact |
$49.95/month |
$24.95/month |
| Members with profiles |
1.2 million active members |
6 million registered members |
4 million members |
Over 4 million |
Male-
female ratio |
60-40 |
60-40 |
40-60 |
50-50 |
| Average age |
30+ |
25-35 |
25-54 |
25+ |
Source: Respective
websites, AP, MYNIPPON estimates.
Prices may change. |
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How to target?
I would say
that the greatest advantages of the Internet is its wide reach. So
there is no need to compromise at least in the beginning. But at the
same time be reasonable in your expectations. If you live in the
middle of nowhere, your options will be limited. Are you willing to
relocate? Are you ready to date someone of another
race? How
about age
difference? So cast a wide net based on your flexibility
and keep trying till you find the right person.
To women out
there, my recommendation is not to wait to be approached by men. Be
proactive and if you like someone, approach him. Things happen fast
on these websites and if you find a good match, take control of the
situation. (Related article: Women
win in online dating)
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Dating, relationships, marriage, etc.
Take your
time. There are a lot of tools that you have these day: email,
instant messaging, video chat, telephone, etc. so use them prior to
meeting someone. Once you are convinced, then plan a good
date since you have already gone through the screening process.
So it is important to look attractive and make a favorable
impression. Let one thing lead to another gradually and follow
the old rules of dating. Just because you found someone after a long
screening process and exchanged several romantic messages or even flirted
online or, who knows, even had some suggestive chat, does not mean that you
should sleep with the person on the first date. Similarly, take your
time to decide on marriage too.
Recommended links:
Real
stories of MYNIPPON patrons who found love online
Physical intimacy
for strong relationships
Online
dating mistakes
What if you
want to date on a budget? Tips
to find a lesbian relationship Why
people do not find a relationship?
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