Dating someone again after breakup

Should I marry my ex after divorce from another man?

Natalie has a fascinating story. When she was 27 years old she was dating a 40 year old man but when she wanted to get married to him, he refused. They broke up and she married another man. Unfortunately the marriage lasted a mere 18 months. "I married someone else even though deep down inside I knew it should have been him. After the divorce, we hooked up again, and we are back together. He would also like to get married this time. The problem is I am now afraid of the age difference when I wasn't before. On top of that I don't want to go through another divorce. It's so bad that I don't trust my own judgment. He is a wonderful man and I am afraid that if I don't come up with a decision, I may miss out on the opportunity of a lifetime to be loved the way I deserve. Please let me know what I should do," she writes (yes, we try to answer questions from our readers, so if you want to ask a question or just share your story, please write to us).

It seems that both of you have realized your earlier mistakes and it is time to undo the damage. Having said that, your reaction to divorce is very normal - those are the emotions most people go through. They start to doubt the value of a marriage since the trauma of a divorce is just too much.

In your case, I hope that both of you realize is that marriage is not as important as being together. My recommendation is that if you are not absolutely positive, there is no reason to marry. If your relationship is solid, a wedding ring makes no difference. Maybe 6 months later you will feel that you want to spend the rest of your life with this man. Who knows, maybe you will feel that you found him to be what your ex-husband was not, but he is still not the man that you should spend your life with. At this time, unless he insists on an answer, let him know that you are confused and do not want to marry right now. You may change your mind later. If he truly loves you, he will be fine with that. If he insists on marriage at this point, it is fine to still say no because you do not want to marry when you are in doubt. Remember that he is 44 and may want to marry soon but you are still very young. You have a lot to look forward to. Yes, there are a lot of bad men out there but there are also a lot of good men too - in case you miss this one, you WILL find another good man.

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