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How
to find a Japanese boyfriend
Tips
for non-Japanese girls
By Lisa Kramer
| It
seems that there is plenty of advice around for finding a Japanese
girlfriend because that is what the reality is. There are far more
Japanese women dating foreign men than Japanese men dating women.
But there is a small group of Japanese men that is actively looking for
foreign women, for instance,
Masi Oka. The good part is that unlike foreign men who seek
Japanese women for a short-term relationship, most Japanese men are
seeking a serious relationship. Otherwise they just would not
waste their time on a foreign woman and go through the pain of having a gaijin
girlfriend. (Related:
How to find
boyfriend?) |
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Here are few things that you need to do on the first date to win the
heart of a Japanese man:
- Keep the first date as
informal. It is perfectly fine to have a cup of
coffee or may be a beer after work. Try to avoid a weekend
date that can mean several hours. The reason is simple: give
yourself and him a chance to better understand what it is all
about. It is very likely that this may be his first date with
a non-Japanese woman and same for you too. (Related
article: Tips
and ideas on dating a Japanese)
- Dress well.
While most foreign women will not generally dress like the Japanese
girls, but showing up in faded jeans and sneakers is not a Japanese
man's idea of a date. You do not have to wear expensive
designer clothes but make sure you look clean, organized, and show that you
care about your body. (Related article: Style
tips)
- Be yourself.
Do not try to be a Japanese because that is not the reason this man
has agreed to date you.
- Behave like a woman.
Japanese men expect them to be men and also expect women to be women.
Bring out your feminine side in the best way you
can. It could be the way you dress and also how you present
yourself and talk.
- Do not expect a lot.
It is very likely that this gentleman may be more nervous than you
are. If he does not know your language well, things could be
even more complicated. Be patient and treat the first date as
a 'get-to-know-each-other' opportunity.
After the first date has gone well and the Japanese gentleman has
called you to go out again, the tricky part is to determine if he
is sincere about it or if he is just being polite. In Japan, one
thing that is avoided at all costs is causing embarrassment to
others. For instance, you might hate the other person and would
never want to be with that person again but you just don't make the
other person feel that way. You would still call and say how good
the date went and how much you enjoyed the other person's company.
The Japanese people have a keen sense and it is not difficult for them
to figure out exactly what is going on. On the other hand, if you
are a non-Japanese, you will have to read the signs carefully.
Here are some guidelines:
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So allow some more time and you can take it relatively easy
in this case. While we still advise you to dress well and
act as a woman would do, you can treat him as a friend and even show
some emotion. Regarding any intimacy, remember that it is not
acceptable in the Japanese society to express physical affection in
public. While some adventurous Japanese may try to shake hands
with foreign people, they will simply not do the same with other
Japanese people. Thus, I believe that holding hands or kissing
is
probably unlikely to happen especially if you go to a place where there
is not a lot of privacy. In any case, do not expect him to make
the first move even though we have been telling you to be more
feminine elsewhere. (Related:
Black women and Japanese men)
This date is a good opportunity to know your date a little more
intimately. Japanese men are not great communicators and typically
Japanese men will not talk about their feelings with someone they do not
know very well. What that means is that a lot of the answers would
have to be obtained indirectly and you will find out the answers in a
couple of days as you get some time to reflect and make sense of the
remarks.
Recommended links: Japanese
men are hot How
to get a Japanese girlfriend Meeting
Japanese women
Date
with a Japanese man Marrying
a Japanese man Tips
on getting married to a Japanese guy
Commitment phobic Japanese men |
