How to start an affair?

atalie writes, "I am a married woman but I dream of falling in love with my son's rugby coach. I am not sure if he fancies me as well but I have seen him look at me and I hope that he feels the same about me. He's a dad and husband but I dream of him all the time, usually making love to me. I don't dream about anyone else -- not even my wonderful husband -- other than him. I love my husband and I am happily married but would like to have a secret affair with the coach. There is definitely a physical attraction but just don't know how I can find out why he looks at me when we are at the club or at the matches. I am 38 and he must be 10 years older. He used to say hello to me and I would respond and then freeze because I didn't know what to say to him. Now he never says hi and I want him to start to say hi while I work on what to say to him next time he greets me. There is a rugby tour and fourteen players and the parents are going for four days. He'll be there and it's important that the move is made and the ice broken. This has been going on for three years and it's getting very frustrating. How can I talk to him? What should I say to him next time if he says hi or smiles at me? I just want an affair and no more than that."

I think the first thing that you have to do is to confirm if the attraction is mutual, or at least there is hope that if you make an effort he will become interested. Remember that he too is married and may not have the desire and freedom to have an extramarital relationship. Once you have confirmed that he is interested or may become interested, it is time to earn his trust and start an affair.

How to go about it?

In my opinion he stopped greeting you because you did not respond warmly enough when he used to. It is fair to assume, therefore, that he thought you were not interested in even simply greeting him. I understand your challenge because once we are attracted to someone it is common to become tongue-tied. What you will have to do is to start the conversation and since you have a topic to talk about, start there. There is no better topic than to discuss your son's performance, how he is doing, what can you do to help him perform better, does he have any suggestions, how is the tour going, what are the chances of the teams winning, etc. Trust me, other conversations like weather or local news or gossip will then come naturally. Since you have not really chatted, you will need to initiate the discussion by saying something like, "Hi, I am (son's name) mother and I just wanted to follow up on his progress." Hopefully the conversation would go well and from then on you can start small talk every time you see each other.

At that point you can sit next to him on the dining table, show up regularly at practice sessions (to cheer up your son but also to be close to him), and then suggest a cup of coffee or drink to chat more about a common topic of interest (men always like to talk about sports, entertainment, cars, etc.). And you really don't have to know these things to talk; all you need is curiosity. For example, if you know nothing about rugby, you can ask if he would mind explaining the complexities of the game while you watch a game together. This approach can be applied to almost anything -- we all love to share our knowledge with others. I am expecting that he will get the idea that your interest in him is beyond that and as a woman you should then know what to do to seduce a man.