Gossips hurt relationships and cause pain
Beth is a member of a Beta Sigma Phi at a university in Canada. "I was recently made aware of a horrible and hurtful rumor that is circulating about me. I am wondering if I should confront the group as a whole, as I know it has come from there, but not certain who. If I should stop going to group altogether if this is what it has turned into. Or if I should present some information that I have on the dangers of gossip within a group setting. What do you think?" she asks us.
Generally what we have found from our past experiencing helping people deal with rumors is that the more you try to defend yourself the more the gossip will grow. However, if the rumor is baseless (and that happens to be the case here), it will just die since there is no substance for it thrive. You should, however, take it up as a general issue in an appropriate setting like a formal meeting - that to maintain the integrity of the group and not to alienate members, it is not a good idea to spread rumors or to start gossips.
Unfortunately, some people love to gossip and the more you confront them the meaner they get. A guy once wrote to us and he said, "The lion just moves about his business because he is the king. Dogs bark in the jungle when he moves but he just goes on because he knows who the king is and so does everyone else." So feel like a queen and ignore the bitches.
Looks as if Beth agrees. "Thank you very much. This was great advice and it was great to wake up this morning and read this. I will have a better day today than before. And yes, I will ignore 'the bitches.' hee! hee!" She wrote back.
Related article: How to handle gossip?
Generally what we have found from our past experiencing helping people deal with rumors is that the more you try to defend yourself the more the gossip will grow. However, if the rumor is baseless (and that happens to be the case here), it will just die since there is no substance for it thrive. You should, however, take it up as a general issue in an appropriate setting like a formal meeting - that to maintain the integrity of the group and not to alienate members, it is not a good idea to spread rumors or to start gossips.
Unfortunately, some people love to gossip and the more you confront them the meaner they get. A guy once wrote to us and he said, "The lion just moves about his business because he is the king. Dogs bark in the jungle when he moves but he just goes on because he knows who the king is and so does everyone else." So feel like a queen and ignore the bitches.
Looks as if Beth agrees. "Thank you very much. This was great advice and it was great to wake up this morning and read this. I will have a better day today than before. And yes, I will ignore 'the bitches.' hee! hee!" She wrote back.
Related article: How to handle gossip?
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