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Girls' relationships with their dads
How it can impact their self esteem as adults
Self esteem
among women can be low due to a variety of factors but
some of them go their early childhood. If they grew up in
a
single parent household or their mothers were
mistreated by male members of the family or if they were
bullied in school because of their looks or social
background, the effects can be devastating and lasting.
(Related:
Self esteem program for women)
Great
help can be provided by dads in
building the self esteem of their daughters and Joe
Cucchiara, the author of "What All Little Girls Need &
What Most Women Never Had…Healthy, Loving Relationships
With Their Fathers," offers the following 7 tips: |
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Spend time
playing with your young daughter. It’s the number one way
to bond with your daughter and build your early
relationship. Simple activities, such as playing with
blocks, throwing a ball, rolling around on a rug, or
playing hide-and-seek teaches your daughter that you care
about her. At that age, all she wants to know is that her
father loves her enough to play with her. (Child
safety)
Listen
to your daughter and honor her requests. As parents, we
often think we have the right answers. We can easily
overpower a daughter’s requests. (Related:
How
to raise self esteem)
Realize
that little girls are not perfect. They have bad days, and
simultaneously, they do not know how to articulate how
they feel. We might think our child is being a disobedient
brat or that we are not disciplining our child enough.
When a five-year-old is acting fussy, cranky, or having a
bad day, remember that she doesn’t know how to tell you. |
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Sit
down at eye-level with your daughter and have an
honest dialogue with her to figure out the source
of her frustration. Ask her questions like,
"What’s bothering you?" Her response may sound
simple or ridiculous. You might not even get to
the source of her discomfort, however, what
matters most is that the message will come across
to her that you care about her thoughts and
feelings.
As
she gets older, teach your daughter that it is
more important to be a good person. Most girls get
an idea very early on that the way to
attract male attention is through their
looks,
and that if they don’t have a certain look or
weight, boys won’t think they are
cute or pay attention to them.
Eating disorders among girls are rampant. By
age 13, 53% of girls are unhappy with their
bodies. This percentage rises to 78% by age 17. As
a representative of the male population, in a
loving way, it’s important for you, as her father,
to remind your daughter that "It’s not how you
look; it’s who you are that counts." |
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If your
daughter is in her teens or older, or if your adult
daughter approaches you wanting to heal your relationship,
be honest with her if you haven’t been there for her. It’s
never too late to rebuild a relationship. Sit down, be
honest about the past and try to create a
new beginning.
Start by telling her: "I wish I had been more available
for you when you were younger. I wish things had been
different, and they weren’t."
Make a
new commitment to your daughter. Tell her, "My commitment
to you is that, starting today; I want to rebuild my
relationship with you so that we can improve going
forward." Decide to do the work that it will take to heal
this relationship.
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